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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29216730">I will return, Vhenan</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vandariel/pseuds/Vandariel'>Vandariel</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Vanadey Lavellan [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Conflict, F/M, Heartbreak, Romance, Tresspasser, from lovers to enemies, slight angst, time for revenge</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 07:02:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,500</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29216730</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vandariel/pseuds/Vandariel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Female Lavellan/Solas, Fen'Harel | Solas/Female Lavellan, Lavellan &amp; Solas</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Vanadey Lavellan [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2164071</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I will return, Vhenan</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <br/>
<em> Artwork by Felandaria </em>
</p><p>Vanadey took a closer look at the petrified Qunari statues. A queasy feeling overcame her when she caught sight of the fear in the eyes of these flawless marble-looking statues while a cold shiver ran through her spinal cord.</p><p>"Even I am not that mad...I don't want to know how torturously they must be suffering."</p><p>That the usually detached and reserved elf could for once show remorse for her enemies was probably hard for even the Maker to believe. Vanadey continued to look around - what a beautiful view, the elven ruins whose remains made the landscape more captivating. And at the other end stood a huge Eluvian, defiant with grace.</p><p>"By the Maker, where am I?"</p><p>She couldn't hold her breath in amazement and gazed wide-eyed at the huge mirror from a distance. She saw a figure standing in front of that mirror, tall and lean. Vanadey squinted her golden yellow eyes to recognise the silhouette for afar. This elegant posture, arms behind his back - as if this person was eagerly waiting for the lnquisitor. Still seething with adrenaline, her body instinctively sheathed her daggers and ran towards the stranger in a fury. </p><p>"Did you do this! With the Quanri?! You sick piece of-" she roared reproachfully at the stranger and stilled when she heard a faint smile coming from his lips.</p><p>"I've missed your feistiness, Vhenan."</p><p>Her eyes grew wide with bewilderment. Her pulse froze like cold shock, her heart skipped beats and literally slipped into her pants. Her tight grip on the daggers loosened, trembling slightly.</p><p>"Vhenan?" </p><p>she whispered in a shaky voice that echoed quietly through the air. Lavellan did not want to believe it - she had already given up hope of finding "him". Already on the Halamshiral she had a premonition that he was not the man he pretended to be. He turned around, a gentle smile painted by bad conscience on his lips. Those slightly, grey and blueish twinkling eyes, that tiny smile on his face - as if he had been eagerly waiting for her return.</p><p>"I cannot believe it..." she whispered to herself with disgust and her shocked glance spoke volumes. Stunned, she took a step back and studied him - that strange elven armour he wore, so graceful but unfamiliar. Vanadey was conflicted - on the one hand, she'd best kill her love right now for abandoning her, but on the other hand, she couldn't let her heart suffer in anger and rage any longer and secretly jumped for joy inside when she finally saw him again after all these years.</p><p>"Don't let him lead you on." she told herself inwardly and regained her composure.</p><p>He approached her, each step feeling to both of them like a fuse about to ignite a barrel of longing. How he would kiss and embrace that petite elf - but Solas knew she was more angry than pleased to see him again.</p><p>"I suspect you have questions?"</p><p>She smacked her lips and turned her head to the side with a disgusted gaze of mistrust. For a brief moment there was silence but the barrel bubbled up inside her and she looked menacingly back at Solas.</p><p>"Questions? Questions?! Solas, are you serious?! I don't need to ask ANYTHING. I know who you are. You are Fen'Harel! Ma harel lasa!" She shouted angrily right in his face. Her eyes glowed like lava while her red hair flew in front of her face - she really was about to kill him.</p><p>"How could I be SO STUPID!? I knew who you could be since Halamshiral - Fen fucking Harel. And I let you manipulate me!" </p><p>Vanadey felt not only cheated but stupid for her naivety. How could he, she wondered. How could she get involved with someone like that?  Solas saw her vulnerability in her eyes despite her tantrum - he knew she deserved better - A better life without intrigues and secrets. </p><p>"Forgive me. I can understand your anger. But I didn't want you to-"</p><p>"Manipulate me? You played with my feelings do you think I'm that stupid Solas? If my arm wouldn't burn down I would have killed you long ago. I can't believe you did all of this. That you played with us like some chess pieces. I shouldn't have listened to my fucking heart back then. "</p><p>Lavellan is very good at reading people's facial expressions and gestures. Solas knew that when she first heard about Fen’Harel, she was almost obsessed with this him and wanted to know more about the Dread Wolf. He mostly deviated from their questions in a subtle way, which of course did not escape the cunning fox. According to Halamshiral, she added one and one, but as absurd as the thought was, her heart blinded her.</p><p>"That can't be, that would be too crazy." she always thought to herself when she thought about this assumption.</p><p>Vanadey felt the anchor burning inside her arm again and roared in pain and knelt down powerlessly on the ground. The anchor burned like acid and she felt how numb her body was gradually becoming. This glowing heat that made an electrical sensation flow through her veins tugged at her mind.</p><p>Remorseful and with a guilty conscience, he knelt before her - Solas couldn't see his Vhenan suffer like that, never. The pressure in his chest was like a rock of regret and guilt. She didn't look at him and bared her teeth in anger and pain.</p><p>“What do you want to do huh? Do you want to destroy this world? For what?" she smacked.</p><p>Carefully he took her hand and his eyes widened when he was surprised that she returned his touch - even if she wasn't looking at him.</p><p>"Vhenan ... our people-"</p><p>“YOUR PEOPLE. It is your people! I don't want anything more to do with you. "</p><p>she lied loudly back in horror and whimpered in pain. It only took a few seconds for the pain to subside and she looked up at the elf. A brief silence enveloped the two of them and they only heard the water splashing, the rustling leaves.</p><p>"I thought you loved me Solas." she said softly in disappointment. How vulnerable she glanced away, in shame. It broke his heart to see her in such a painful state.</p><p>"I do. Every day. But I have to fix it all up. I never thought that I would develop feelings for you. I never thought that you would be such a big influence on me. "</p><p>He saw her eyes flash provocatively, unclear whether she will try to destroy him or not. Her cherry red hair shone, glowing almost fiery red in the golden sunlight. Her gaze did not deviate from him, almost manifest, threatening and yet longing for him.</p><p>“Then I'll stop you. I know there's another way out there somewhere I will not die until I stop you. " her dark, alsmost devilish voice made Solas heart stop for a second.</p><p>"I know."</p><p>he agreed more calmly and his gentle, caring sound almost let her fall into a light trance. Both felt that their connection was stronger than ever thought. Both knew that they would see each other again. And they both knew that in the end there might only be one of them left. Vanadey couldn't control her anger anymore, Solas hurt her too much with his return. She didn't want him to leave her again, she was afraid of what was to come - a war among lovers.</p><p>"Solas ... don't leave me alone."</p><p>"Na abelas"</p><p>He took her hand and gazed at her sadly. The fear was written on her face, she knew that she could die at any moment but she fought.</p><p>“The only thing I can give you is time. Sorry- ”</p><p>Solas cast a spell which wrapped her hand like icecold chains and gripped her wrist tightly. She screamed in pain, screeching all her hatred and anger from her soul as the chains tightened her arm. Her scorched nerves gradually separated, dissolved into dust. Vanadey saw how her hand slowly drifted like sand in the desert in the air and the unbearable biting pain dissolved and she only felt a slight, uncomfortable pulsation.</p><p>She slowly gasped for air and calmed down, still in a state of shock, she just couldn't believe what had just happened and looked up at Solas, who walked slowly to the Eluvian. She tried to get up quickly, still a little awkward and weak, she hobbled over to him. She gripped his hand tightly forcing him to turn around to look at her, her eyes covered with tears, and again a few strands of hair flew into her face. Like reaching for the last straw, she wanted to keep him from leaving her and grabbed his hand tighter.</p><p>"Ar lath .."</p><p>"I will never forget you. Ar lath ma vhenan. "</p><p>Her hand relaxed as she felt his digits touch the scar under her chin. Slowly he directed her head to him and felt the strained, trembling breath of his love. Their lips met one last time - every second was more precious to them than anything else. He noted every fiber of her lips, the scars he felt on her face. She let go and her hand gently ran over his ears to the back of his head. Lavellan realized that she had to let go - for now. It is not a goodbye forever, she thought to herself. Her lips slowly parted, still hungry for another kiss, but it was no longer possible. That last kiss sealed the war between the two. He stroked her cheek one last time with a sad, faded glance and approached the Eluvian.</p><p>"Dareth Shiral." he whispered painfully to her and slowly entered the Eluvian. Vanadey saw how the purple particles in the mirror slowly ate up and he disappeared completely in the mirror. She approached the Eluvian and saw her own reflection shining through.</p><p>"Dareth Shiral, Vhenan."</p><p>Her soft whisper went through the Eluvian like a faint echo that briefly stopped Sola's heart. Bitterly, he pecked briefly and continued his journey alone. And so she stood alone in front of the gigantic Eluvian, her eyes filled with tears. She paused for a moment and tried compulsively to process everything in that moment - as if it were that easy, Lavellan.</p><p>----</p><p>The Inquisition was disbanded and Vanadey hid in their headquarters for several days. Little by little, her friends left Skyhold. First she had to deal with her new situation, that she only has one arm and then she also has to sort out her feelings for Solas. Weeks flew by and her bitterness faded day by day. It wasn't easy to cope but evn though she felt alone sometmes she knew this won't be for eternity. In the meantime, she was doing target exercises in the courtyard and throwing a few knives on a wooden board - that helped her to get away with everything and to gather strength.</p><p>Much was still incomprehensible to her about Sola's plan. She thought he was mad, unpredictable - she needed more answers.</p><p>"Cherry, you have a visitor!" Varric called over to Vanadey and her sullen, thoughtful look faded when she saw Zevran standing in front of her.</p><p>"Zevran I can't believe it!" she called to him and jumped into his arms. She never thought she would see him again in her life. From several corners she learned what the crows of Antiva had done some troubles and she worried about her “older brother”. But how could this charming elf disappoint her? With death? Never.</p><p>His tight hug gave her the hold and the love she longed for. He eyed her and looked a little sad - it was clear that she was miserable.</p><p>"Vany you really don't look good." his Antivan accent rolled over his lips in worry.</p><p>"I know. A lot has happened."</p><p>"Leliana has already told me in several letters - that's why I'm here to pick you up."</p><p>She blinked in amazement and slowly pulled away from his embrace.</p><p>"Pick up? How so?"</p><p>"Oh Vany-" the crow laughed lightheartedly.</p><p>“Well, I suppose you don't want to stay here and mop up do you? It doesn't look like that at all. I thought to myself I would offer you that we could make our way together, to Tevinter to be precise. And along the way, you can practice a little with your new tool. " Zevran explained and Vanadey saw Varric holding something in his hand.</p><p>It looked like a crossbow with a bezel and a yellow crystal in the middle. Lavellan now had more question marks than before and without further words Varric put the crossbow on her arm and tightened the splint so that the weapon would not slip off.</p><p>"Wait, wait, wait ... this is going a little too fast for me ... how do you know that we have to go to Tevinter?"</p><p>"Leliana."</p><p>“Well ... I should have guessed too. But how should I shoot with it? There is no deduction. "</p><p>"Dagna explained to me how the crossbow works, that's why I'm here." Varric explained with a chuckle and pointed to the stone and took an amulet out of his pocket, which he put on Vanadey.</p><p>“As long as you wear this amulet, the crossbow recognizes its owner. You just have to remember to shoot the bolt. "</p><p>"That's it?"</p><p>"That's it."</p><p>Vanadey raised her left hand and marveled at the good piece first impressed. She looked briefly at the two and then at the training dummy, which was standing behind her. She straightened her arm and focused on the board.</p><p>"Now." she thought focused and without hesitation the bolt shot its way through the doll.</p><p>“Not bad cherry. Not bad." the dwarf marveled and applauded.</p><p>“The recoil is a bit difficult but I think I'll get used to it with a little practice. I have to thank Dagna before we leave. "</p><p>"Maybe we can do some upgrades if you want. I also have to do some for Bianca." Varric suggested and saw the direct approval in Cherry's eyes.</p><p>"You made up your mind quickly!" Zevran noted with a mischievous laugh and I patted lightly on the shoulder. She looked over at him and smiled bittersweet.</p><p>“Nothing can stop me here - I never wanted any of that. I've made great friends here, but they too have new goals. I'll pack my things and then we can go - Varric are you coming with me? "</p><p>The dwarf laughed and nodded.</p><p>"I can go with you for a while but I have to leave you at some point - Kirkwall is waiting for me."</p><p>"Understandable." Lavellan laughed out loud.</p><p>Her laughter...After a long time she was able to laugh again. Her eyes flashed full of activity and she supported her crossbow with her other hand.</p><p>"Well, let's go to Tevinter - Dorian is definitely looking forward to an unannounced visit."</p><p>"And Solas?" Zevran asked cautiously but Vanadey grinned wickedly with anticipation.</p><p>“He should dress warmly. His “Vhenan” indeed still has a score to settle with him. "</p>
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